Tell Me
by oldmule
Summary: "Have you told him yet? That you love him." Malcolm attempts to sort out  Ruth once and for all.
1. Chapter 1

**Set in a pub. Not The George. Sometime soon after the end of S9. All belongs to Kudos - except the pub.

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"So how are you?"

"Fine, fine."

"And things?"

"Things?"

"Yes, you know what I mean, Ruth," asked Malcolm with a gentle smile.

"Things have been difficult," Ruth admitted.

"Have you told him yet?"

"Told him what?"

"That you love him."

Ruth's blue eyes fixed Malcolm with an unblinking expression.

"It's time, Ruth."

"It's not that easy. You don't understand."

Malcolm was not about to let her off the hook. Not this time.

"What is there to understand?"

Her eyes became unfixed. Her answer unspoken.

"He needs you Ruth."

"It's more complicated than that."

"No, it's as simple as that."

He waited.

"Tell me you don't love him."

"I can't."

"Tell me he doesn't love you."

"He does," she admitted.

"Then why can't you tell each other?"

"I don't know. I suppose we're not very…emotionally forthright."

Malcolm laughed.

"Practice on me, then. Pretend I'm Harry sat here now, in the pub. Tell me."

"No."

"Go on."

"No, Malcolm."

"Please, Ruth."

She sighed. He wasn't going to give up. It would be quicker to just humour him for a minute and then change the subject, she concluded.

"Fine."

"So….." he prompted, after she failed to say anything more, "tell me how you feel about me."

"I…I…."

He waited and she began again.

"Despite the past I love him."

"No. Say it to me Ruth. I am Harry."

"This is stupid."

"No, don't think about it. Just do it."

She opened her mouth to protest but he raised his eyebrows warningly and so she sighed and tried again.

"Despite the past...I love you. You think I blame you. I don't. I blame me. I feel….felt numb. Empty. Like my capability to feel had been taken from me, had been eroded to nothing by what we do. I was fine. Just that. Fine. Not feeling, but fine. And then….."

She stopped and Malcolm saw her face take on a haunted look as the past was projected before her, on a reel only she could see.

"Then…" he prompted.

"Then I thought you were dead. Thought you had fallen, been pushed, killed, by Lucas."

"And…."

"And I could feel. And I wasn't fine. And I knew I loved you and regretted all the times I'd pushed you away. And I knew that never again would I have the chance to make things right."

"But I'm not dead."

This time it wasn't Malcolm's voice. It was Harry's.

"I'll just get the next round in," said Malcolm quickly heading for the bar.

From the booth behind a familiar figure rose and took his seat.

Ruth stared at him, not knowing whether to be angry or relieved.

"There's still time, Ruth. To make things right," said Harry, "if you'd like to, that is?"


	2. Chapter 2

She did not answer.

He wondered whether to repeat himself but the look on her face persuaded him not to.

"You just happened to be in the same pub, did you, Harry?"

"I just thought…"

"What? That you'd trap me into this?"

"Ruth, I'm sorry."

"You could have just spoken to me, Harry."

"And you wouldn't have stopped me?"

"No."

His eyebrows were raised in mild disbelief.

"We need to have this conversation," she said after a moment.

"Then let's."

They sat, both ready for the conversation they'd never really had, the conversation that had been hanging over them for years, the conversation they had both held in their own heads time after time after time.

Neither spoke.

Malcolm, who had not even made an attempt to buy another round, lingered by the bar and willed them on, as if as if by willing it, it would happen.

"It's going very well so far," said Harry, after the silence had grown even heavier.

Ruth smiled, despite herself.

"So much to say," she smiled.

"But where to start?" he looked at her and held her gaze.

"You love me," she said simply.

"Yes."

He hadn't needed to say it, it was writ large upon his face, but it was good to say it.

"And you love me?" Harry asked quietly, needing the reassurance of hearing it again.

"Yes," she said, without the hesitation he expected.

"Despite the past?"

"Yes."

And once more they sat.

In silence.

Both absorbing the thing that everyone else knew.

For Ruth it was an acknowledgement of what she had known already.

For Harry it was the knowledge of what he had always hoped, but feared he had lost.

"I need you, Ruth."

"I know."

"Can we be together?"

She didn't answer.

"Is that what you want?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Can it work?"

"Yes, Ruth. It can work."

"But how can you know for certain, Harry?"

"I don't. But I'd hate to think we never gave it a chance."

She looked at her hands and sighed.

Harry wondered if she knew that the rest of his life lay in those hands, cradled, waiting for her decision.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks, as always for the lovely reviews. Short one. May be the end. Don't know.**

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Harry still waited. He couldn't bear the tension much longer.

"Ruth?"

Her head lifted from her hands and she looked steadily at him but said nothing. She reached for a beer mat and began to tug at it absentmindedly.

The sounds of the bar had dulled to a distant hum, nothing seemed to matter, nothing seemed real to Harry. Only the woman sitting opposite him. She was his reality.

"Okay."

Harry's breath caught in his chest.

"Okay?"

She nodded.

Harry stared at her.

"Okay…we can be together?" he asked. Tentatively. Hopefully. Breathlessly.

"Yes, Harry," came Ruth's reply, "let's at least give it a chance."

They sat, both looking at the other. Surprised.

Neither moved.

Finally Harry remembered to breathe.

Finally Ruth let go of the beer mat in her hands that she had just systematically shredded.

"Would you like a drink, Ruth?" he said, finally.

"I wonder what happened to Malcolm's round?" she smiled.

"I think he's gone."

"No, he's over there, pretending he's not watching us," Ruth said nodding her head to the far end of the bar.

"Ah," grinned Harry, "staying at a safe distance."

"And so he should."

"Don't blame him Ruth, it was my idea."

"Well, you better go and redeem yourself, Harry. Mine's a merlot."

He nodded but did not move.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"For what?" she asked.

"The chance."

And he stood up, dragging himself away from her and crossed to the bar.


	4. Chapter 4

**Little bit extra for Fluffyspook.

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**

"Well?"

Harry looked at Malcolm. His face was as eager for information as he'd ever seen. Malcolm wasn't too hopeful, there had been no sign between them, nothing. Not a kiss, not a touch. And now here was Harry away from Ruth…again.

"A merlot and a Laphroig," Harry turned to Malcolm, "and….?"

Malcolm smiled, relieved, "G and T."

"And a gin and tonic," concluded Harry.

"Progress, then," said Malcolm as the barman disappeared to the back of the bar.

He wasn't sure Harry was listening for a moment. But then he nodded.

"Yes, progress."

"Bout, bloody time."

Both of them laughed.

"You're still in trouble though, Malcolm, for being deceptive and tricky."

"Well, perhaps if you get round to kissing her anytime soon she might forget about being annoyed with me."

Harry's smile faded a little.

"I don't want to push her too soon."

Malcolm turned to him.

"Forgive me, Harry, but you're hardly the right side of fifty. You've had one date in seven years and that didn't end well. I think it's about time you did push her and got on with it."

Harry looked at him as the barman returned with his drinks. He paid and handed Malcolm a glass.

"On your head be it, Malcolm," he said and turned away.

"Thanks," smiled Ruth as a rich smooth glass of merlot appeared on the table.

Harry sat down. But not opposite her. He was close. His shoulder was touching hers. His eyes were fixed on her and did not falter.

"What?" asked Ruth, unnerved by the intensity of his gaze.

He did not answer. He could not answer. He was thinking about kissing her. How much he wanted to kiss her. How much he needed to kiss her.

And so he did.

The sound of the bar melted into the background, muted and dulled. Nothing mattered, nothing mattered but the feel of their lips and the kiss that had waited so long to live again.


End file.
